Dealing with Uncertainty
There are times in our life where we just don't know what lies ahead for us and that uncertainty can be a time of fear, discomfort and suffering unless we change our perspective.
It is therefore in our best interest to practice the art of not knowing. Sometimes it takes a life crisis to really knock you down for the count, before you are willing to try something new, so if you are at this stage or would prefer to skip the discomfort, keep on reading.
There are times where we are totally okay with not knowing. For instance, the need to know the colour of your friends underpants at any given moment. Or maybe you are okay with not knowing what song is being played in the car beside you. The reason for this is because there is actually an answer to these questions if you were to ask.
The times that we are not okay with not knowing, are the times there aren't really any clear answers. For instance, "what is my life purpose" or "am I making the best decision at this cross roads of my life?"
"The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers." ~ Erich Fromm
The first time I really took notice of the word uncertainty was when it was repeatedly sprouted from the mouth of the Marriage Councilor that I had insisted my husband and I see after he told me he no long wanted to be with me anymore. Yeah, it was too late down the track but I hadn't seen the signs or just unconsciously buried my head in the sand to avoid discomfort. Our councilor resembled Columbo, by the TV series of the same name (showing my age now). Like the TV character this man was a little disheveled- looking, I was distracted by his circumstantial speech and long pauses, and increasingly irritated by his pestering behavior.
Never the less I did keep pondering on this word uncertainty, that he had insinuated was the cause of my pain and struggles. I realised that with this one particular issue he was suprisingly spot on (one little, but big victory for our Columbo). I had not wanted this marriage breakdown and now out of sheer terror I was trying to control everything and was digging my heels in.
I did not readily learn my lesson on dealing with uncertainty, I instead plummeted into a long and agonising depression. I did get the opportunity many years later to deal with this thing uncertainty, and although it was still scary, I decided to give up the resistance, the struggle and surrender any attachment to an outcome. Not only was the journey a lot more peaceful, but everything I needed was delivered to me at the most perfect time. It wasn't instant, it took at least six months and another two months with the prize dangling in front of my nose, before it was delivered in abundance with less effort and struggle!
As much as I would have loved to avoid the years of suffering, I can now look back many years later and celebrate the person I have become and thank the circumstances that have brought me to this incredible stage of my life. A time in my life of pride, gratitude, strength, courage, clarity and compassion, what an awesome prize!
I recently heard a video recording of an inspirational speech Lisa Nichols gave at the Awesomeness Fest 2012. Lisa exclaims, "You don't always have to know exactly what you're doing. You don't always have to know exactly where the road is going to end, you just have to be willing to take your next step. Sometimes clear and powerful and sometimes a blind, unwavering state; you just have to be willing to take the next step...You have always been on the right track. Any decisions you have made along the way were all necessary to bring you to where you are today."
I believe dealing with uncertainty means having faith in your abundant self, and in something a lot bigger and grander than you. It is to let go of the need to control everyone and everything, it is finding the resolve to stick to your decision to surrender any attachment to an outcome, even when it is uncomfortable. Sure there may be times we stumble from the track, but after that sweet taste of surrender and freedom, it won't be long before we are back on track again.
Dealing with uncertainty is making time to listen to your breath, and find space between your thoughts where before there was thought after thought. It is taking time out of your busy schedule to find space in your mind, heart and life. The art of not knowing is to take a step away from ignorance and towards grace. For what is the alternative, a time of mental confusion, depression, struggle and anxiety? So make that stand, take that step and as Lisa Nichols says, "hold yourself accountable for the person you want to be in this world!"
